Understanding Your Core Fears
Your core fears are the basic themes of your fundamental negative or limiting beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. Be aware that few people have much of an awareness of their core fears unless they have done some work to focus on it and identify these fears. Like the images that emerge from the 3D Hidden pictures in books, one must often spend some time looking for the patterns of their fear-based thinking before the exact nature of their core fears start to emerge.
These core fears can take the form of negative beliefs such as ‘I’m alone’, “I’m worthless’, ‘I’m powerless’ or ‘I’m not good enough’, with an endless variety according to people’s different perspectives. Most people have multiple core fears that operate in their awareness, but ultimately each person must determine their own fears and ‘emotional baggage’ for themselves. Many times, people may say, “I don’t have any core fears”, or, “I’m not thinking about that when I am upset about a situation,” however if you look closely at their patterns of thinking, feeling and behavior in various situations of conflict, it is possible to see how their behavior is impacted by specific and habitual fears.
Other people can help by providing suggestions and observations, but only you know what hits you emotionally. Wherever you feel the most emotional triggers about your own self-image are probably where your core fears lie.
The following exercise is designed to help you gain clarity about your core fears; to see how these beliefs influence the repeating situations of conflict or conflict avoidance in your life that create your life script.
Questions to help you identify your core fears and define the Elements of Your Life Story
1. What were the repeating patterns of conflict or conflict avoidance in significant relationships that influenced your development?
2. What were the behaviors that you or others showed that were designed to control or influence others behavior?
3. When you were a child, what happened that was emotional or difficult for you? What happened when you created some of your core fears? (This could be an event or a repeating pattern of interactions in significant relationships that all have the same theme and a similar pattern.)
4. What is the role you play/played in the paradigm of your life drama that was influenced by your core fears?
5. What were the negative or limiting beliefs about yourself or your situation in this drama? (core fears about self)
6. What are the roles you assigned to others who played a significant part in your drama? What are the negative or limiting beliefs you have about others? (core fears about others)
7. What are your fundamental fear-based beliefs about the world when you are in the paradigm of this drama? (Core fears about the nature of reality)